heidssterr80

12:50 am: this is new
I needed a place to write that I figured no one would really see. I have a tendency to write or think things that I feel are philisophical or meaningful when I am tired or under the influence that others might find boring and irrelavent. I know I had a lot to say a little bit ago but I don't know that I do now. I will just record random thougt from here on......
I love Henry and I love Lisa I wish there was more I could do for Henry and Lisa but I feel very helpless and missunderstood or that I misunderstand when it comes to them.
I wish I didn't feel so bad every time I mentioned walkie talkies in from of Meri!!! It's not how I feel about her and Connor and thier Family but it's how I feel about PDD!!!! Yet I keep making ill refferances to walky talkies if front of her, why do I do that???
Do I have MS??? I seem to be afraid to ask my neurologist what she thinks, is it becuse I'm afraid she'll say I may have it or becuase I don't? Most times I think the latter and sometimes Im convincend otherwise.
I miss the good old days. no responsibility, poor decision making yet the feeling of living on the edge. now those things feel guilty.
I want to do what I shouldn't but I don't know that it would make anything better so I don't. actually I know it wont so I stay away. but I am tempted.
I am guessing this sounds like nonsence and if I look at it tomorrow with different eyes I will probably be stumped, but for now it feels good to get it off my chest.

12:48 pm: Jessica, Ok help me I am clueless on how to use LJ. Can I sen dyou a message without posting a comment or updating my journal?

07:39 pm: Hey Jessica, I wrote an email to a doctor in Cleavland who specializes in PDCD. It was so long because i put in a lot of Eleanor's history. I'm not really happy with her metabolic specialist here. I feel like such a heel. Would you be inconvenienced to get an email from a stranger asking you about your expertise? I also feel like I am betraying her current doctors. What if they have already contacted him and he talks to them about the emial I sent? I am just nervous about the whole thing. What if it was worded all stupid and the grammar sucks? Ahhhhh. Anyway. So we are on track with the buying of the house.
My abdomin is getting quite large. This baby is a kicker hard core!! Hurts like a mother fucker.
Anyway so glad you are so happy
I'm pretty sure you are the only one who reads this so I am using it to write to you. Hahahahaha. I gotta go feed Eleanor now it's getting late. Love Ya

01:23 pm: Aquateen Hunger Force invades major cities in the US.
Boston is the only city who spent half a million dollars on protecting it's citizens from Aqua Teen Hunger Force light bright advertisements. Is it against the law for authorities to take an interest in Pop Culture? Was no one in this city familar with Aqua Teen Hunger Force?

Why is it that Boston was the only city to treat this as a terror incident? I guess the terrorist have done their job well when a cartoon advertisement causes a panic great enough to cost half a million dollars.

I agree Time Warrner should have gotton a permit and let the citiy know about the advertisements before hand, but seriously. They were all over the city for two weeks and other cities around the country as well. I'm pretty sure any compotent terrorist would not have let any home made weapon sit around for two weeks in plain veiw, before detination.